Bumper Stickers

As I Drive Down The Road I Long For Entertainment, And Like Lots Of People, I Find That Entertainment On Those Little Strips Of Glossy Plastic--Commonly Known As Bumper Stickers

I Asked My Internet Friends To Send Me Some Of Their Favorite Bumper Stickers, I Was Amazed By The Amount Of Funny Matreial I Got.

Want To Add Your Favorite To The List??? Let Me Know!!

The List

BIPARTISANSHIP-I'll hug your elephant-If you kiss my ass
Fasten Your Seat Belts. It makes it harder for the aliens to get you out of the car.
I didn't go to work today.The voices told me to stay home and clean my GUNS!
Your Proctologist called. They Found Your Head
My Boss Has A Bug So Far Up His Ass We Don't Know Whether To Call A Proctologist Or An Entymologist
God Made Pot, Man Made Beer. Who Do YOU Trust Most?
Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap
Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere
I Didn't Vote For Slick Willy
My Student Sold Your Honor Student The Answers To The SAT's
I Bet You Would Drive Better With That Phone Up Your Ass
Bad Cop: No Donuts
My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student
If You Can Read This, I Can Hit My Brakes And Sue You
Very Funny Scotty: Now Beam Dowm My Clothes
Canibalism Means Never Having To Hide The Bodies!
Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You're Still An Idiot
God Is My Co-Pilot, But The Devil Is My Bombardier
Sure You Can Trust The Government! Just Ask An Indain!
Keep Honking While I Reload
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon
Never Underestimate The Power Of A Psycho
Always Get A Contract When Working With A Dark, Omnipotent Power
EARTH FIRST! We'll Stripmine The Other Planets Later
Jack Kevorkian For White House Physician
Alcohol And Calculus Don't Mix. Never Drink And Derive
If We Are What We Eat; I'm Cheap, Fast, And Easy.
I Love My Cat: And Now For $29.95, You Can Too!!
We've Engaged The Borg: RSVP Required, Dinner 5:00, Dance 7:00
My Mother Was The Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
Balance The Budget: Impeach Everybody
Someone Else For President
Caution: Weirdo On Board
When I Die I want To Go Like My Grand Father Did: Peacefully In My Sleep, Not Screaming In Terror Like The Passingers In His Car

A Women With PMS And ESP Equals A Bitch That Knows Everything
Everyone's Entitled To Be Stupid, But You're Abusing The Privilege
Proud Parent, Inmate #4776660, State Penn
Stop Inbreeding: Ban Country Music
Want To Get Laid? Crawl Up A Chickens Ass And Wait
Honk If You Love Noise Pollution
Jesus Is Coming, Everyone Look Busy
A Bartender Is Just a Pharmacist With A Limited Inventory
Horn Broken, Watch For Finger
My Kid Had Sex With Your Honor Student
My "Drop-Out" Knocked Up Your "Honor Student" At The Prom
If At First You Do Succeed, Try Not To Look Astonished
Help Wanted, Telepath: You Know Where To Apply
I.R.S.: We've Got What It Takes To Take What You've Got
Jesus Loves You....Everyone Else Thinks You're An Asshole
I'm Just Driving This Way To Piss You Off
Reality Is A Crutch For People Who Can't Handle Drugs
Keep Honking, I'm Reloading
Hang Up And Drive
Lord Save Me from Your Followers
Guns Don't Kill People, Postal Workers Do
I Said "No" To Drugs, But They Wouldn't Listen
Freinds Don't Let Freind Drive Naked
Drunk Driver Against Mothers
If We Aren't Supposed To Eat Animals, Why Are They Made Of Meat?
Lottery: A Tax On People Who Are Bad At Math
Friends Help You Move. Real Friends Help You Move Bodies
Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying "Nice doggie!"....Till You Can Find A Rock
Sex On Television Can't Hurt You....Unless You Fall Off
If You Can Read This, We Need To Exchange Insurance Info
If You Can Read This, Then I'm Parked
If You Can Read This, You're Too Close
If You Can Read This, You Don't Need Glasses
If You Can Read This, Then So Can The Spy Satelite Overhead
Mother-In-Laws:When all's said and done, they keep talking anyway
I drive where the voices in my hear tell me to go
I Love Uranius
Hit me, I need the cash
Car 50: Squirrels: 0
If I Was Homeless, I'd Be Home Now

Lately I've Recieved A Ton Of...I Brake For Stickers, Here We Go!!...

I Brake For Leprechauns
I Brake For Hallucinations
I Brake For Mel Gibson
I Brake For Strippers
I Brake For Nothing
I Brake For Tailgaters
I Brake For Overturned Payroll Trucks
I Brake For Topless Beaches
I Brake For No Apparent Reason
I Brake For Out Of Court Settlements

Bumper Stickers for the Politically Incorrect

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me & Not You.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Illiterate? Write For Help
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off...[Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It the Wrong WAY!...
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Ax Me About Ebonics
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
Boldly Going Nowhere
Cat: The Other White Meat
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Little Animal Friends

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition
What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull
PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals
Want To Add One??....Be My Guest..

And My New Favorite, Seen On A Police Cruiser

In God We Trust...And You Ain't Him

Eat My Dust