I asked the great and powerful Jazzsoda to send me a history of the Hipsoda's Caption Crack.
I had no idea the strange, twisted ride Jazzsoda would take me on.
But, because I'm the sort of Capper that likes to share stories with the Capper Community, I figured I'd post it here for the whole world to enjoy.
Below is the story as Jazzsoda told it to me...
You be the judge
HCC was the world's first captioning site, created in the bowels of
primordial genius back in the musty, distantly past year of 2007.
So legendary was its influence, so epochal its stature, that before long GersonK developed a time machine just so he could go back in time and create Inventing Situations several years before HCC existed.
His victory was short-lived, however, when jealous Sci-Fi Channel executives stole his time machine and used it to send their own captioning activity back to the sepia-toned year of 1996.
Jazzsoda attempted to develop his own time machine in response, in an effort to send HCC back to 1931, but was foiled when his time machine just kept flashing 12:00 and sent all test objects five hours into the future, causing Jazz to bonk into them in the middle of the night when he got up to pee.
Attempts to steal GersonKs time machine back from the Sci-Fi Channel also proved unsuccessful. At one point Jazz did manage to sneak into Sci-Fi Channel Headquarters disguised as a talentless hack, and got the time machine half-way to his car, but then he accidentally turned it on and fucking ninjas riding dinosaurs spilled out of the time portal, causing all hell to break loose.
Jazz did finally manage to develop a time machine in the year 2053, and used it to travel back to the year 2007 and post a snarky comment on GersonKs blog that wouldn't even make sense for another 34 years. Sadly, he then realized he'd locked his keys in the time machine, in the year 1981 of all places, and was stuck living the bulk of his life over again, spending most of his time nagging his pre-time-travel self about dumb choices he was about to make.
In spite of being co-opted by abuse of the time-space continuum, over the years HCC grew in popularity among the chronically unmarried, the loudly dressed, the uncouth, the Dutch, the lovely on the inside, NASA chimps trained in irony, insomniacs, agoraphobic mama's boys and Star Trek apologists the world over. Finally, there was a place for the people who didn't feel like going to the other places where they fit in. Finally, they could make fun of hobos without going outside. Finally, they were home.
Then in 2010 Reynard made a capping site that made HCC look stupid and old and everybody started capping there instead.
I question Jazzsoda's story but I can't deny that Hipsoda's Caption Crack
has become a popular place to post captions, chat, and for me, hit on Caption Goddesses.
And sometimes, late at night, while drinking rum and smoking strange plants... Capper Gods.
I have not saved one caption from Hipsoda's Caption Crack, and it's not because I'm lazy, or can't find funny captions worth saving. It's because HCC saves every caption made by every capper. It also hosts several Caption Galleries, and lots of other goodies. Enough to keep this Capper busy long into the wee hours of the morning
Thanks go out to both Jazzsoda and Hippie for giving birth to another venue to post our funny little captions, chat, and enjoy our strange past-time. I have met many friends while enjoying the Capping web sites, and if I could not caption, I don't know what I'd do.