|*"Need a Hand with that?"
"No thanks, already on top of it.."
||Unfortunately, after the horrible accident at the Tattoo parlor, these two posed for the camera while attending some art show -- and a rich lady promptly bid on and won the hands for $4,000 each!||<left
guy> Which lady do you want to help?
<right guy> You take the blond, I'll take the one in the turban!
|Here's one of the finalists for the "Rocket X-9" Olympic team; unfortunately, he didn't make it. The fuel cell (the sports bottle strapped to his back) chose that moment to implode. He's now a black hole over New Jersey.||My
guess is, since he's checking the filter and he's got the lighter and cigarettes
strapped to the side, that this is going to be a Smoking Gun.
for your viewing pleasure, the worlds first Koolaid Distillery -- to make
your very own Koolaid Wine!
Thousands of Praying Moonies fall victim
to the Reverend's latest shrek; get it in the end. Film at eleven.
now the Coppertone Dogsled Competition gets underway and -- oh look, a surprise!
||Push the Button, Frank!|
origins of the "Joe Don Baker" Cult: Practicing Overheating Dinner and Blowing
Up the Compound Day.
Tyson's Fried Ears - so finger-lickin'-good that they knock you on your A-hh,
a tree that lives in daily mortal terror of the coming of "The Day of Bobbitectomy."
|The NEW Stepford Stewardess school is now open, featuring such techniques as Constant Cheer Throughout Turbulence, Coping Cheerfully with Crying Kids, and Tactfully Turning a Pass into a 3-day Weekend with Bozo.||"(whispers)
Wow, Looks like Mack the Knife really knew what he was talking about --(yelling)
Er, Mr. Knife? We'll have you out of there in a jiffy..."
new Low-Cal, Low-Fat cheese slice made with Olestra(tm): may cause uncontrollable
sneezing and bitter beer face when ingested.
just as Joe was getting the Spirit, he slipped -- and ended up as a tape
on America's Funniest home videos, winning his best friend $3000 and ruining
their friendship. His best friend didn't seem to mind, though.
the Captain burned the kid's house, broke his arm and gave him a percentage
of the latest movie cash, they both agreed to part company -- after he signed
the agreement on the kid's cast, of course.
Faerie Tales: Danny Elfman on his Wedding Night *shudders*
what *I* want to know is, if they're trying to break a record for pole sitting,
*how did they get the ice cream cones up there?!*
hits the skids in "When Elves Attack" on "Sick Sad World!" Next!
show that requires me to THINK? Can I *do* that? "Honey, do I have any brain
cells around? There's this show on that's making me try to THINK!"